Things That Matter
The book is written to help each of us identify distractions that keep us from living our best, most meaningful life. And then to offer ideas and practical steps to overcome those distractions. Not just today, but every day of our lives going forward.
To accomplish that, the book labels many of the societal assumptions and expectations that keep us from meaning and fulfillment. Because if we want to spend our limited days focused on what matters most, we need to see the world differently than those who seek to profit off us.
To accomplish that, here are seven powerful, life-giving lessons you’ll find inside Things That Matter:
Perspective #1: Fear isn’t protecting us—it’s holding us back.
Most of the time, fear doesn’t show up as panic. It shows up as hesitation, procrastination, and excuses. It sometimes even disguises itself as practicality or good judgment. But in the end, fear too often results in a reluctance to fail, push ourselves, or take a risk that really matters.
Believe it or not, fear is the No. 1 reason people don’t set big goals or even try new things.
Fear convinces us that staying where we are is better than trying. But rarely is that true.
In fact, psychologists have found that regret over inaction lasts longer than regret over action. In other words, we’re more likely to regret the chances we didn’t take than the ones we did.
If we are going to live meaningful lives with fewer regrets, we can’t wait until fear disappears. We need to choose something more important than it to find the courage to overcome.
Perspective #2: Past mistakes don’t have to define our future.
Many people never become who they’re meant to be because they are held back by past mistakes.
As research for the book, I commissioned a nationwide survey. The most heart-breaking statistic from the survey was the discovery that 61% of people feel held back from the future they would like to live because of a mistake in their past. And 55% of people believe wrongs committed against them prevent them from living the future they desire.
There is obviously some overlap in those numbers. But that is a lot of people living in the present who believe their past is keeping them from their future.
I don’t want to oversimplify this statement but: We don’t have to stay stuck in regret. Overcoming regret (and sometimes downright evil) can be difficult and painful, no doubt. But the mistakes of our past only define us if we keep letting them.
Everyone fails. Everyone makes decisions they wish they could undo. No person is perfect. We all face trials and pain. But dwelling on them only gives the past more power than it deserves. Shame keeps us trapped. Agency moves us forward.
No matter what you’ve walked through, there is always purpose ahead.
Perspective #3: Leisure isn’t the goal of life.
We live in a culture that idolizes retirement, vacations, working less, and “finally doing nothing.” But a life aimed only at leisure is rarely fulfilling in the long run.
In fact, studies show too much leisure increases boredom, fatigue, and even depression.
That’s not to say rest doesn’t matter—it does. But rest should contribute to us living our most purposeful life—rather than seeing rest as the purpose of life.
A meaningful life isn’t built by avoiding effort. Just the opposite. It’s found by devoting our whole selves to things that matter.
Perspective #4: Technology should serve us—not master us.
Our devices are designed to steal attention, not restore it. According to a 2023 survey, on average, we check our phones 144 times a day. That’s not a life of intention lived on mission—that’s a life of reaction surrendered to whistles, bells, buzzes, and notifications.
Technology is a powerful tool. In many ways, this blog and the book, Things that Matter, only exist because of it. But when technology controls us, interrupts our relational presence with others, hijacks our focus, or keeps us from rest or deep work, we’re no longer holding a tool—we’ve become the tool.
See technology as a tool and opportunity. Use it to bring good into the world. And reject being the one consumed by it by approaching it with intention and wisdom.
Perspective #5: We don’t drift into purpose—we walk there deliberately.
Rarely does a person stumble into a meaningful life by accident. Without clear direction, our default direction is toward distraction.
The world is full of urgent noise and entities fighting for our attention—things that demand our time but don’t deserve it. That’s why quietness, solitude, clarity, and heartfelt values are so important. They provide direction.
For that reason, we have to take the time to define what matters most, and then let those priorities shape us—every single day.
Purpose doesn’t require a title or platform, but it does require focus. And every step counts.
Perspective #6: Money is a tool, not a scoreboard.
It’s easy to make money the measuring stick of a successful life. But that thinking has a cost.
Study after study confirms that after a certain point, more money does not equal more happiness. And while many of us might agree with the general idea behind that statement, most of us live differently.
In fact, 79% of Americans believe they would be happier if they had more money and 70% of us say the desire for money influences our daily decisions. It is true, of course, that some people would benefit from having more money. But that is not 70% of us.
Something else is causing the desire.
Perhaps we believe money will bring happiness or security—or maybe it’s just how we define success. But sometimes I wonder if wealth alone is truly something to be proud of.
Our money can never be worth more than what we choose to spend it on. Let’s provide for our families, of course. But let’s dream bigger dreams for our life than zeroes in a bank account.
Perspective #7: Doing the right thing is better than doing the popular thing.
We all want to be liked. That’s human. But chasing approval too often leads us away from what we know to be true. In Things That Matter, I identify seven distractions that keep us from living a meaningful life: fear, regret, selfish happiness, money, possessions, accolades, leisure, and technology.
Although different distractions tempt different people, I know the pursuit of praise is a big distraction in my life. But popularity fades. Integrity and a clear conscience last.
We don’t get to control how others respond to our decisions. But we do get to control what kind of person we become and what we choose to pursue.
Living a meaningful life isn’t about impressing others. It’s about becoming someone we’re proud of—whether anyone notices or not.
Things That Matter is about seeing the world differently—so we can live differently.
If you’ve read the book, thank you for being part of this movement toward greater intentionality and purpose. If you haven’t yet, and are looking for help overcoming distraction and living a more meaningful life, I think you’ll find it both inspiring and helpful.
It’s never too late to start living for what matters most.
To accomplish that, the book labels many of the societal assumptions and expectations that keep us from meaning and fulfillment. Because if we want to spend our limited days focused on what matters most, we need to see the world differently than those who seek to profit off us.
To accomplish that, here are seven powerful, life-giving lessons you’ll find inside Things That Matter:
Perspective #1: Fear isn’t protecting us—it’s holding us back.
Most of the time, fear doesn’t show up as panic. It shows up as hesitation, procrastination, and excuses. It sometimes even disguises itself as practicality or good judgment. But in the end, fear too often results in a reluctance to fail, push ourselves, or take a risk that really matters.
Believe it or not, fear is the No. 1 reason people don’t set big goals or even try new things.
Fear convinces us that staying where we are is better than trying. But rarely is that true.
In fact, psychologists have found that regret over inaction lasts longer than regret over action. In other words, we’re more likely to regret the chances we didn’t take than the ones we did.
If we are going to live meaningful lives with fewer regrets, we can’t wait until fear disappears. We need to choose something more important than it to find the courage to overcome.
Perspective #2: Past mistakes don’t have to define our future.
Many people never become who they’re meant to be because they are held back by past mistakes.
As research for the book, I commissioned a nationwide survey. The most heart-breaking statistic from the survey was the discovery that 61% of people feel held back from the future they would like to live because of a mistake in their past. And 55% of people believe wrongs committed against them prevent them from living the future they desire.
There is obviously some overlap in those numbers. But that is a lot of people living in the present who believe their past is keeping them from their future.
I don’t want to oversimplify this statement but: We don’t have to stay stuck in regret. Overcoming regret (and sometimes downright evil) can be difficult and painful, no doubt. But the mistakes of our past only define us if we keep letting them.
Everyone fails. Everyone makes decisions they wish they could undo. No person is perfect. We all face trials and pain. But dwelling on them only gives the past more power than it deserves. Shame keeps us trapped. Agency moves us forward.
No matter what you’ve walked through, there is always purpose ahead.
Perspective #3: Leisure isn’t the goal of life.
We live in a culture that idolizes retirement, vacations, working less, and “finally doing nothing.” But a life aimed only at leisure is rarely fulfilling in the long run.
In fact, studies show too much leisure increases boredom, fatigue, and even depression.
That’s not to say rest doesn’t matter—it does. But rest should contribute to us living our most purposeful life—rather than seeing rest as the purpose of life.
A meaningful life isn’t built by avoiding effort. Just the opposite. It’s found by devoting our whole selves to things that matter.
Perspective #4: Technology should serve us—not master us.
Our devices are designed to steal attention, not restore it. According to a 2023 survey, on average, we check our phones 144 times a day. That’s not a life of intention lived on mission—that’s a life of reaction surrendered to whistles, bells, buzzes, and notifications.
Technology is a powerful tool. In many ways, this blog and the book, Things that Matter, only exist because of it. But when technology controls us, interrupts our relational presence with others, hijacks our focus, or keeps us from rest or deep work, we’re no longer holding a tool—we’ve become the tool.
See technology as a tool and opportunity. Use it to bring good into the world. And reject being the one consumed by it by approaching it with intention and wisdom.
Perspective #5: We don’t drift into purpose—we walk there deliberately.
Rarely does a person stumble into a meaningful life by accident. Without clear direction, our default direction is toward distraction.
The world is full of urgent noise and entities fighting for our attention—things that demand our time but don’t deserve it. That’s why quietness, solitude, clarity, and heartfelt values are so important. They provide direction.
For that reason, we have to take the time to define what matters most, and then let those priorities shape us—every single day.
Purpose doesn’t require a title or platform, but it does require focus. And every step counts.
Perspective #6: Money is a tool, not a scoreboard.
It’s easy to make money the measuring stick of a successful life. But that thinking has a cost.
Study after study confirms that after a certain point, more money does not equal more happiness. And while many of us might agree with the general idea behind that statement, most of us live differently.
In fact, 79% of Americans believe they would be happier if they had more money and 70% of us say the desire for money influences our daily decisions. It is true, of course, that some people would benefit from having more money. But that is not 70% of us.
Something else is causing the desire.
Perhaps we believe money will bring happiness or security—or maybe it’s just how we define success. But sometimes I wonder if wealth alone is truly something to be proud of.
Our money can never be worth more than what we choose to spend it on. Let’s provide for our families, of course. But let’s dream bigger dreams for our life than zeroes in a bank account.
Perspective #7: Doing the right thing is better than doing the popular thing.
We all want to be liked. That’s human. But chasing approval too often leads us away from what we know to be true. In Things That Matter, I identify seven distractions that keep us from living a meaningful life: fear, regret, selfish happiness, money, possessions, accolades, leisure, and technology.
Although different distractions tempt different people, I know the pursuit of praise is a big distraction in my life. But popularity fades. Integrity and a clear conscience last.
We don’t get to control how others respond to our decisions. But we do get to control what kind of person we become and what we choose to pursue.
Living a meaningful life isn’t about impressing others. It’s about becoming someone we’re proud of—whether anyone notices or not.
Things That Matter is about seeing the world differently—so we can live differently.
If you’ve read the book, thank you for being part of this movement toward greater intentionality and purpose. If you haven’t yet, and are looking for help overcoming distraction and living a more meaningful life, I think you’ll find it both inspiring and helpful.
It’s never too late to start living for what matters most.
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